Roxas & Stitch: Absolute Chaos!
by UltimateAvengers
Summary: What happens when Roxas brings home an other worldly pet? And Org. XIII lets him keep it? One-Shot...For now. May add more chapters.


"Hello" = talking

 _'wow'_ = thinking

"ALL CAPS" = yelling/shouting

 **"Woof!"** = distorted voice

*Cut* = Doing something (in and out of flashback)

 _ ***POW***_ = Sound effects

 _italics_ = timeskip

 _Italics_ = flashback

 _"_ = talking in flashback

 _'_ = thinking in flashback

 _"ALL CAPPS"_ = yelling/shouting in flashback

 **Bold** = Time/Place

 _ **(P.O.V)**_ = Point of view change

( ) = Me narrating

 _( )_ = descriptions in/out of flashback

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea for this fic.

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Absolute Chaos: A Roxas & Stitch Humor Fic

 **Roxas' 7th day in Org XIII, Lanes Between, 5:00pm**

 _ **(Normal P.O.V.)**_

On a road in a swirl of black & purple, 2 people in black coats walked along. One was a tall man with insanely spiky red hair (like Vegeta, from DBZ), green eyes, and a purple, upside-down tear-shaped tattoo under each eye. His name is Axel. The other was a 14 yr. old boy w/ windswept, spiky blonde hair, icy blue eyes, pale skin, and an emotionless face. His name is Roxas.

Roxas: *looks through a hole that suddenly appears in the swirly tunnel.* "Axel, what's that?" Axel: "What's what, Roxas?" Roxas: *Points at hole* "That." *Stitch (he looks like a blue koala) flies into the tunnel, his tail on fire.*

Axel: *Sweatdrops at the blue koala dragging his butt on the floor to put out his tail light* "I... Have no idea. Looks like a... Blue koala? Koalas aren't blue." Roxas: *licks fingers, and puts out fire. Picks up Stitch.* "..." *walks further into tunnel.*

 **The Castle That Never Was, 7:00pm**

Saix: "What is this... blue thing?" Axel: *deadpans* "A koala. It flew into the dark corridor with its tail aflame." Saix: "So?" Roxas: *still holding Stitch, who is eyeing the castle lounge curiously.* "Can he stay?" Saix: "Take it up with Lord Xemnas."

 _15 minutes later_

Xemnas: "So Roxas, you want to keep.." Roxas: "Stitch... It just popped into my head." Xemnas: "You will care for him on your own." Roxas: "OK." Stitch: "You have Cocoanut?" All the other Org Members not mentioned before: "It talks!"

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 _Day 14_

Axel: *face palms* "Where did I go wrong?!" (The castle is falling apart in chunks!) Vexen: " BLUE MONSTROSITY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" (Vexen's room has a blue punch buggy(?) car crashed in the window!)

Larxene: "When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna sever your ! !# $! and $# %% !% #$ %#%%% %# %!%$! YOU WILL BEG TO BE IN HELL, WITH THE WORST DEMON GODDESSES TEARING YOU UP BEFORE DEVOURING YOUR VERY EXISTENCE!" (Elephants are dancing in a conga line in her room!)

Saix: "This castle- no, this WORLD is in a state of Absolute Chaos! *Turns to Axel* And its ALL YOUR FAULT FOR LETTING ROXAS KEEP THAT BLUE FURBALL OF ARMAGEDDON!"

Demyx: "Dance water, DANCE!" *Playing his sitar at a toga party being held by the gorillas from "Tarzan" in the lounge. With a pool & water slide installed.* Marluxia: "My beautiful garden is gone!" *Sobbing over his giant cannibal plants, that were eaten by a 10 ft. tall panda!*

Lexeaus: "..." *His TV is being used by Gremlins as a board to grind the castle walls & rails like a skateboard!* Zexion: "THIS MUST STOP!" *Cowboys are having a western bar fight in the kitchen, using giant taffy pieces!*

*Saix's office is now a winter wonderland inhabited by polar bears & The Penguins of Madagascar!* Skipper: "Kowalski, Status report!" Kowalski: "Based on my observations, a blue koala-shaped alien has caused wacky pandemonium in this castle." Private: "What do we do now?" Rico: *Grunts and babbles, before regurgitating a disco ball.*

Lemur King Julian: "Now this is what I call a party!" *Starts dancing to "Move It Move It" in the Round Room, which is turned into a multicolored disco hall.* Mort: "Can I touch-" Maurice: "No, you can't touch the royal feet."

(At the Altar of Naught, Phineas & Ferb built a giant ice hockey field with Love Handle rocking out & a circus on ice! And Perry The Platypus is on an OWCA secret agent animal hockey team playing against the evil scientist organization, L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. The fireside girls are setting up the arena) Candace: "MOM! Phineas & Ferb are helping host a wild party in another dimension!"

Luxord: "Alright, cut the deck." *The headless horseman chops a deck of playing cards in half with his sword* "That's not what I meant." (The Animaniacs Yakko, Wakko & Dot are painting the Dark City with Looney Tunes murals.) Xaldin: "I say we mail Stitch to Timbuktu!" *His room has Simple Plan in it singing "I'd Do Anything.") Genie is boxing with Arnold Schwarzenegger in Xigbar's room, and Xemnas is taming lions in a loincloth!*

 _After the "Guests" left_

The whole Organization: "ROXAS! STITCH HAS TO GO!" Stitch holds up a contract. Roxas: "You all signed this contract Stitch drew up, so if he leaves, so do I, so if I'm gonna fight Heartless, he stays." *The entire Org. face faults, having to now deal with this EVERY DAY!*

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 _Day 255_

Axel: "Roxas, why did you want to keep Stitch?" Roxas: "I don't know, when I saw him, I couldn't just leave him. I felt like, I'd met him somewhere before, in some other life." Stitch: *Hiding behind a wall, eavesdropping* _'Roxas look like Ven. But Ven lost 10 years ago. If Roxas was Ven, then he'd be 24 years old, not 14. But they look the same, sound the same, and both have Keyblades. Who is he?"_

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 _Day 256_

Xemnas: "Attention, last night, our main computers were hacked. And this morning, it was discovered that Xion has run away." Roxas: "Your Honor, I object on the grounds that Xion couldn't have hacked us, as she was not taught to use computers." Demyx: "You know, Roxas has a point. Xion only knows how to collect hearts." Xemnas: "Our security cameras caught her exiting via dark corridor." Saix: "As of now, she's a Renegade."

 _Day 357_

(AN: In this fic, Roxas got his dual Keyblades after beating Saix)

Roxas: "Run away? Really?" Stitch: "Ohana means Family. And Family means nobody gets left behind OR forgotten!" Roxas: "You're right! We've come to far to give up!"

 _Day 358_

Riku: "You forced me to release the dark-" *Stitch jumps him from behind, dressing him up as a ballerina/clown/fairy princess!" Roxas: *ROFL* "HOHOHO, I see London I see France-" Stitch: *holds up clothes* "I SEE RIKU'S UNDERPANTS!" *Roxas knocks Riku out w/ his dual Keyblades, leaves behind Sora's memories (that he extracted w/ his Keyblades) & he teleports away w/ Stitch to who knows where, with one goal: Cause Absolute Chaos!*

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 **Old** **Mansion, Twilight Town, Day 358**

 ** _(Normal P.O.V.)_**

(Riku re-enters the base wearing the clown/ballerina/fairy princess costume Stitch put him in. Namine doubles over laughing.) DiZ: "Riku! What is the meaning of this?!" Riku: "Roxas beat me, and a Blue Koala put this costume on me, then I was knocked out. *holds up Sora's memories.* Roxas left these behind."

Namine: "I never... thought I'd see... a man in... tights!" *Continues howling like a hyena.* DiZ *his eyes full of fear*: "You said, a blue koala?" Riku: "Yes, I did. It had cocoanut shavings on its nose." DiZ: "Roxas is allied with the BLUE FURBALL OF ARMAGEDDON?! May Kingdom Hearts have mercy on our souls!"

End


End file.
